I feel so violated.

Only me… seriously. I might be the only person in the world that shit like this happens to…

 

 

So the other day, at work, I need to hang up some prints on the wall in our main conference room. I am standing on a chair (its back is against the wall) reaching up to staple the corner (I bet you think you know where this is going…but I’m tellin ya right now, you have NO CLUE) I get one corner down and I step over to another chair to staple the other corner. I go to hop off of the chair that I am on, not noticing that there is another chair right behind me and I land on the corner edge of this straight back chair ramming it RIGHT UP MY ASS!  owww! Hits me square in the butt hole. About how high do you think your standard run of the mill office chair is? I don’t know, but I would guess it’s about, ohh… a foot and a half higher than my ass. Did you get that visual? Ugh! It hurt so bad.

 

And my bung hole wasn’t the only thing injured. If I am going to be anally raped by office furniture, of course I am going to need an audience right? Oh yea. There were about 6 men in the conference room at the time to witness my trauma. They tried to act concerned when they saw me struggling to breathe and in obvious pain but they had a very difficult time maintaining their composure. They were biting their tongues and almost crying trying not to laugh. And to top it all off, I come in my office to a big ass danger sign and caution tape all over my desk chair. My sore ass was quite the source of amusement around here.

 

And now that I have had time to rest and recover from the trauma, I can giggle too. I can see the humor there. Believe me, I am about as mature as a 15 yr old boy. That is some funny shit.

 

Embarrassing as hell, but funny nonetheless.

 

I should be able to walk normally soon.